


in the desert, where we go to die

by WhereTheFunEnds



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Everybody Dies, Heavy Angst, Mental Health Issues, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Sad Ending, Tragedy, Violence, Why Did I Write This?, Written Pre-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22886152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhereTheFunEnds/pseuds/WhereTheFunEnds
Summary: The resistance died on Crait. Everyone except Rey. She went back to Jakku hoping to live out her days alone, with only the memories of the resistance to keep her company. Lightyears away Kylo feels equally as solitary. Haunted by the memories of his parents and the redemption he could have had. The force won't let them suffer alone.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Kudos: 1





	1. Sandstorm

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in high school right after TLJ came out. I was really angsty and this story is DARK. I had totally forgotten I wrote this, but I found it and decided I might as well post it, but I don't love it.

Chapter 1 - Sandstorm - Rey's perspective

I wrap my arms around my legs, pulling them closer to my chest as I hide my face in my knees. Between the cold biting at my fingertips and the sand rasping my skin I had every reason to crawl inside the broken tie fighter I was perched on top of.

I wished my pain was just physical. 

It isn't. Finn’s eyes, lying open covered in soot as he lay dead, on the floor of the millennium falcon flash through my mind into my mind over and over again. The resistance died that day. Everyone except for me. I can imagine Rose telling me that as long as I live, hope lives but that's just porgshit.

_ Rey, please _

I flinch. I haven't heard that voice since I left Crait. I felt the force pulling our minds closer but I couldn’t bear to face him.

_ Don't do this. Not now.  _ I beg.

_ Rey, are you okay?  _ The simple question breaks my shame. My shame in leaving him so alone after he risked everything for me. 

_ Ben… _

I know he hears the apology.

_ It's okay, I know. I know. _

I feel his hand hanging next to my face and I rest my head on his leg. He stands next to me and I let him truly see.

I look up at him as he sees the barren Jakku landscape around us.

_ Why did you come back here? Why here? _

_ Where else is there a place for me? _

We both know the answer to that question. I could go with him.

_ I'm sorry.  _ I say.

_ Don't be.  _ He responds.

I reach up and press his hand to my cheek as my eyes start to blurr.

Soon I am fully crying. 

_ How did I get here?  _ I ask as he sits down beside me.

He knows how I feel. He asks himself that often. Our bond shows us things sometimes, things we don't say. We just know.

_ You should go inside  _ He tells me.

_ I don't want to… It will just be like none of it ever happened… Like Finn, and Rose and…. Leia, like they never existed. _

He tenses when I say his mother’s name.

She died, before he got to speak with her.

Before he got to say how much he missed her.

_ I’m sorry.  _ He tells me.

_ Don't be.  _


	2. Let the Past Die

Chapter II - Let the Past Die - Kylo's perspective

It hurt, seeing her. 

She had given me scars, inside and out and it didn’t seem like she was going to stop anytime soon.

I thought I was over it, that I had moved on. I didn't  _ need  _ her, I didn't miss her, I didn't  _ love  _ her.

When I saw her last night, curled up and broken I knew I was completely wrong about my emotions.

I  _ really missed her. _

I didn't leave until she had crawled into her old AT-AT hut on Jakku.

Why did she go back there?

To the place where she was left so long ago.

°°°

I feel the tug in my chest 

_ Rey…  _ I think.

I hear her before I see her.

“Where  _ did  _ you go?” A raspy voice asks.

“Just tell me how much for the battery core.” Rey demands the voice.

I turn to see her speaking to someone. 

“Sir?” Hux asks.

“I have a headache, we will continue this later” I tell him and he leaves.

I turn back to see Rey.

“If you want to make a deal, then you are going to have to tell me where you have been, girl.” The voice demands and rey takes a step back.

She doesn’t know I am here.

“I was stolen. By the resistance. I escaped when they fell.” She lies.

“And why would the  _ resistance _ have wanted  _ you?”  _ the voice asks.

“Why do  _ you _ want me  _ Plutt? _ ” She asks.

Unkar Plutt. That's who she is talking to.

I have heard word of him, the gang boss of Jakku, one of the most dangerous creatures outside of the order. She knows this though.

“Reeyyyy, I think you are  _ lying _ to me… You know how much I hate  _ lying, don't _ you?” Plutt continues.

I see Rey back up further away from where Plutt must be standing and I walk to her.

_ “It's okay, I’m here. Don't let him win, if he thinks he can scare you he will never make a good deal with you.”  _ I whisper.

She drops her shoulders and steps forwards.

“I came to make a deal. Take it or don't” she hisses and I’m glad I am not in Plutts spot as she glares at him.

Rey makes her deal and walks away from Plutt before turning to where I stand.

_ Why are you here?  _ She asks looking slightly frustrated.

_ You know just as well as I do. You called me here. I could feel your fear. _

She looks down.

_ I don't have time for this.  _

_ Neither do I. I had to send out Hux. _

She scoffs.

_ I actually have to survive and get food so you can take your whole fucking empire and fuck off.  _ She hisses.

I stare at her.

_ Don't pretend you can just get rid of the past year. It happened.  _

_ I know it happened. And I know it's over, and I know  _ **_you_ ** _ can leave me alone.  _ She laughs scornfully before disappearing.

What does she think she is doing? I  _ know _ her thoughts. She doesn't want to get rid of her past, she wants to go back to it.

I feel a sudden coldness as she severes our link as much as she can. I know she cannot cause it real harm. I know I can force it open, but I don't…I’ll let her have her victory.

  
  



	3. Kill it if You Have To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry y'all...

Chapter III - _ Kill it if You Have To - Rey's perspective _

I swing my body around as my foot makes contact with the heavy sack of sand.

I fall backwards panting and reach for my waterskin. 

I freeze as I feel him start to tug at our bond, pulling me in. For a flash, I see him standing there in a black long sleeved shirt and loose black pants. I snap the link closed and squeeze my eyes shut.

I pull my hair into a single bun at the nape of my neck. It has grown over the last year and now falls to my chest. I grab my knife and tuck it into my belt, covering it with my long brown cloak before leaving my hut.

When I walk into the  _ Ergel _ I immediately hear the shouts. 

A large group of people are hanging around the ring yelling and shouting various encouragement and curses as their betted champions make or lose their punches.

I walk up to the counter where Ergel stands wiping the inside of a glass.

“Rey!” He shouts over the noise his face lighting with joy.

“Come to accept my offer?” He asks as he always does. 

“Yes, I have.” I respond

He stares at me in shock.

“ ‘Re ya pullin me leg?” He asks seriously.

“I want to fight.” I confirm.

“Come this way!” He laughs excitedly gesturing me to come behind the counter.

Ergel leads me through a back room where he takes the knife and cloak. I’ll have no need for them in there.

“You'll go next!” He smiles.

“You'll fight Einri, he’ ll be the one winning this match, with tha white hair!” He gestures into the ring at a boy about my age with cropped white hair. 

Ergel is right and soon Einri has won leaving the other fighter a mess of blood on the ground.

The crowd cheers as the opponent is dragged out and Ergel pushes me in.

“Make Yer Bets!” Ergal shouts as the crowd starts to murder, sizing me up.

Einri, who has been stretching his arms is now looking straight at me and I see his eyes. Red. Sith red. 

No, there are no Sith, the sith are gone. Dead. His eyes must be natural.

“Go!” Ergal shouts and Einri comes running at me, his arm reached out to the side to hook me.

I duck and grab his legs, bringing me to the ground. He swings his body weight over me and pushes me to the ground beneath him. I thrash my arms and grab his wrist, twisting it and as he falls to my side I climb over him, laying a heavy punch to his jaw before he swings his legs up and kicks me in the side. He stands above me as I clutch my side, he kicks me again and again until he leans down and whispers in my ear “I know who you are, Jedi bitch.” he lifts my head off the ground by me hair and smashes it back down. Again. And again. And again. 


	4. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kind of can't believe I wrote this...

Chapter IV - _Together - Kylo's perspective_

The welded lines of steel in the ceiling slowly swam in circles as I stared.

I can't believe it. She can't be  _ gone. _

I had been in a conference… With the Selayan King when I felt it, a ripping pain in my chest. She was dead.

I lay there, on the floor of the conference hall as medics came and went with no explanation of what had happened. Hux had threatened to kill me if I didn't get up but I couldn't do it. 

Eventually everybody left.

I don't know how much time passed before she appeared, hollow, untouchable.

_ Ben _ …  _ You need to go! Run!  _ She cried.

I didn't move. Staring up at her translucent blue face. She shouldn't be like this. How did it happen? Who could have killed my Rey?

My question was quickly answered as she faded and he appeared.

“Einri.” I say coldly as my eyes are met with a pair of red ones.

“Master.” he greets me.

Einri Ren. Of course it was him, the one person who hated me more than Hux.

“Say hi to Rey for me.” He whispers as his saber meets my neck.


End file.
